Saturday Love - My first animated short film

[savage]

Hi all,
I finally finished editing a short film that I wrote, directed and edited. I just finished uploading it to YouTube and it is here for your viewing pleasure. It it an animated ( in the loosest form of the term ) film that is about 7 minutes and a half long.

Note : If you are offended by swearing or drug references, please do not watch it.
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All constructive criticism welcome. Un-constructive criticism not as welcome, but may be tolerated ;-).

[pstudio]

He he, it's quite funny :D

There's only one thing that could be better. While the lines are good it's a bit boring to watch the first 5 minutes. They're just sitting there talking. I understand that it's the meaning, but it would be more interesting if there were a little more action in it. Perhaps one of them is drinking from a cup once in a while and the other is scratching himself. Small things like that makes it more interesting to watch. Else you might as well just listen to an audio clip ;)

And thing that also could help on this problem would be animated faces. I've seen other LEGO films where the mouths and eyes are animated. It brings much more life into the characters.

[savage]

Thanks for the feedback pstudio. I agree a bit more movement earlier on would be better.

I know it could be much better. My next one will be better, I think, as I will use real actors. I could not get actors for this one and I've never done any animation before. I was more concerned with telling the story, rather than getting at the lego toys animating. It could probably also use some post-production work.

[AthenaOfDelphi]

Thats pretty good hon. Nice job.

I would concur that its needs something in the first part, where he's telling the story. You could perhaps have animated some of the scenes from that and popped them in like a memory bubble... kind of cartoony effect. Then do something similar with the second part.

Overall though, pretty funny :-)

[WILL]

Not a bad first go Dom.

It is a bit dry at the beginning, but I'm sure you'll figure out a way to spice up spots like this in the next few you do. ;)

Make no mistakes, learn nothing, right?